Approximately 95,000 years ago, humans developed the distinct ability to think abstractly about our world. Our systems for communication evolved into the language, reasoning, mathematics, science, and other forms of meaning-making that we capitalize on today. Our social connections became stronger and our tribes grew. In general, we have learned to think more about our purpose and reflect internally about our thoughts and actions, including how we fit into the larger context of our community.
But this type of abstract and philosophical thinking doesn’t come without its challenges. When we find ourselves searching or lost in an internal dialogue, we also tend to manifest stress and worry about the present and future dangers that we (might) face. The problem is that if we’re left to our natural instincts, we can do more harm than good. Our concerns create anxiety, our anxiety develops into apprehension, and our apprehension begets paralysis. Then, when our inaction is at its worst, we lose the ability to be present with others. Instead of projecting a faithful present and a positive future, we’re stuck on a carousel of unwanted, inaccurate, and misleading assumptions about our self and others.
The good news is that this state-of-mind doesn’t have to be our reality. Great leaders learn to be present in both mind and matter. They harness the mental strength to stay focused in the moment. This is not an innate ability to connect with people and live in the moment. The belief that any soft skill, like being present as a leader, is native for some and foreign to others is simply not true. Great leaders actually plan to be present. They hone the skill of presence with strategy and practice. This essential skill is only done with strength and ease when we become deliberate about it.
As the world has increasing become more chaotic, there has never been a more important time to be present as a leader. The further apart we feel from one another, the more intense the need for connection becomes. The following pillars are the necessary aspects for being a present leader.
Effective leaders treat every situation uniquely, even the ones that are similar to what we’ve encountered in the past. People who tune in are less judgmental and more authentic by not making assumptions or jumping to conclusions based on past interactions or previous circumstances. Mindfully tuned in leaders are present by extending trust and enjoying authentic relationships with friends and coworkers.
Who is Presently Leading?
Presently leading has a dual connotation. First, it means that you’re present, in the moment, rather than stuck in the past or the future. Present leaders don’t allow themselves to be trapped by dwelling on their past failures or projecting their future fallouts. Second, it means that whomever is “presently leading” is a leader. Titles don’t make leaders. Leaders are the people who show up to do the work, to make a difference, and to bring about the best in others.
Effective leaders who identify what the future will look like are typically making that prediction based on the future that they intend to create. “In an unstable world, the best option is creating the future now.” Great leaders can’t see into the future better than the rest of us, but they are tuned in and leading in the present to create opportunities that bring about what they want for tomorrow.
Forecasting the future requires us to be steadfast with our beliefs and behaviors regarding the here-and-now. With an unwavering focus on our vision, we become clearer on what needs to be done in the present. The actions of today are the fruits of tomorrow.
Leaders know that when we’re tuned into the world around us, when we stay present for our current scenario, and when we work to make the best future for ourselves and others, we reap the benefits of a positive and productive relationship with our community. When we shed the futile consumptions of our abstract thoughts–the negative feelings of doubt and disaster–we push forward into the world that we want and that, ultimately, we’ve designed. That’s what it means to be a present leader–the one who shows up when it matters most.
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Problems can be overcome by having a powerful purpose.
Stay positive by visualizing and anticipating a better future.
Be rational by breaking down the situation so that you can understand each aspect of the problem to respond appropriately.
Remain focused by knowing where you are going and how your daily contributions are meaningful and impactful.
Three Minute Challenges
Throughout the month we offer 3 Minute Challenges to develop the skills necessary to be mentally stronger. Identifying a goal is critical, but it’s only valuable if it is supported with decisive action.
How well did you do on the challenges this month?
Staying Positive
I’ve identified one key area of my life that I want to focus on and improve. I know if I grow in this area it will impact many others.
Remaining Rational
I tried Box Breathing when I started to feel a little overwhelmed or anxious?
Staying Focused
I Identified one thing that I should do every day to stay focused and build resilience.
Great Leaders Are Avid Readers
One of the most powerful ways to fuel your thinking and continue to grow is to be a voracious reader. Below are the three must reads we’ve featured this month.
What an expert has to say about mental strength:
We were thrilled to interview Amy Cooper Hakim this month. This powerful interview reveals how we can view situations practically and rationally. We all know how hard this is to do when we are confronted with some very tough issues in life, both personally and professionally.
What we’ve realized here at TheSchoolHouse302 through our interview with Dr. Cooper Hakim, the books, and other research is that developing mental strength is an ongoing process that requires effort and dedication. Like most things in life that are worthwhile, our efforts must be geared towards progress not perfection.
TheSchoolHouse302 is about getting to simple and maximizing effective research-based strategies that empower individuals to lead better and grow faster.
Please let us know how our leadership posts are working for you, what you are reading to improve yourself, and your thoughts on leadership and growth here on our blog and Twitter. Follow our #onethingseries podcast on iTunes and our #readthisseries on YouTube.
One word comes to mind when we think about mental strength: resilience. The immediate question, though, is how do we develop this incredible quality? The ability to bounce back, get up when you’re down, or pivot to something new during the most challenging times is a critical skill for leaders.
Quite frankly it’s not just a skill, it’s a mindset. The belief that our purpose is greater than our issues, and that the only way to persevere is to stay focused, is what allows us to make a truly meaningful impact. This doesn’t mean that we ignore reality, but rather embrace the words and wisdom of J.K. Rowling: “rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life.”
Developing our mental strength requires focus. This means that we must always focus on our current situation, focus on our future, and focus specifically on how to become stronger mentally between now and then–for the sake of now and then.
Single out one thing in your personal or professional life that will ground you to move forward regardless of the circumstance. This can be a loved one, your faith, or your belief in humanity. This is the basis for your need for mental strength.
Identify something that typically detracts you from staying focused, derailing your attention despite your best efforts. This might be social media or something else that keeps you from remaining diligent. This is the thing that keeps you from being stronger.
Pick something that you should do every day to build your resilience and focus on what matters. For example, exercise matters. Whether it is for physical or mental fitness, there are things we must do routinely to develop our mental strength. This is the strategy you’ll use to be more focused and mentally strong.
Pro Tip: Find the learning opportunity in every situation. Everything we encounter in life presents us with an opportunity to learn. We’ve often heard the need to “find the good in every situation,” but if we are being real, we have to admit that there are situations where “good” just isn’t available, but learning always is. This quote by Canadien Poet, Shane Koyczan, sums it up: “if your heart is broken, make art with the pieces.” When we focus on learning, we grow stronger for ourselves and others.
Reach out and share your story with us.
Stay tuned for more challenges, reflection questions, leadership models, podcasts, and more by following dereka206.sg-host.com. It’s our job to curate, synthesize, and communicate so that you can lead better and grow faster. In a world plagued by nothing but noise, we help you by getting to simple.
TheSchoolHouse302 is about getting to simple by maximizing effective research-based strategies that empower individuals to lead better and grow faster.
For the second time ever, we’re posting a written #readthisseries. We’re practicing social distancing so we didn’t get together to film. It’s a serious time for all of us, and we pray for our nation and everyone around the globe. As we follow and abide by recommended health practices, it’s an opportune time to read. Below you will discover our book recommendations on the topic of mental strength–something we’re covering all month long. It’s moments like this, when we are facing a true emergency, that we need to be at our best.
Our first recommendation is Working With Difficult People by Amy Cooper Hakim. This book is perfect. Considering that much of our work at a distance these days requires us to connect with one another in new ways, but it’s tough. This book provides great strategies for handling people “without losing your mind.” You can buy it here.
Our second recommendation is an incredible book by the great Dale Carnegie. How to Stop WorryingandStartLiving is a game changer. Carnegie has left us with riches in the form of words. What we love about this book is that it tackles the complex topic of worry. Read this book to gain perspective and to learn to live in “day tight compartments.”
Our final recommendation is Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. This book is our Mac-Daddy. Dr. Seligman is the father of positive psychology, and we are big fans of his work. What we think you will love most about this book is the techniques he provides for changing your own mind–an absolute must read for leaders!
A Reader’s Tip: If you find it hard to build time into your busy day, especially if you’re working from home with new demands, schedule it. Growing as a leader is intentional. To do so, you need to work at it. Reading is just one strategy, but like anything else worth doing, it takes time. If you’re not finding the time to read, be purposeful with fitting it into your day by placing a hold on your calendar.
If you’re at home because of social distancing, use some of this time to read. Let us know what you think of these three books or just give us a shout about what you’re reading to learn to lead better and grow faster.
Last thing, the first person to contact us via Twitter, using #readthisseries, will receive a copy of Passionate Leadership. All you have to do is tweet, “I am a passionate leader” and we’ll send you a copy. Joe & T.J.
Feelings are invulnerable to rational thought. ~ Stephen King
“The sky is falling.” We would love to think that irrational thinking, fear, and panic, are reserved for only the young or immature, as in the case of the timid and frightened Chicken Little. Yet, we know better. On some scale, large or small, we’ve all fallen victim to irrational thinking. The Chicken Little fable, passed on through the centuries, is intended to guide us as a reminder that bravery and courage are needed during tough times. Whether through the worries of everyday life or the horrors of war, we need stability. The ability to remain rational in the face of challenging times requires mental strength.
Mentally strong individuals see situations for what they really are so that they can respond appropriately. Chicken Little’s fears were not real. Yes, an acorn fell from the sky, but Chicken Little’s panic prevented the chick from knowing what really occurred. In our own lives, we do experience situations that are real and very scary. COVID-19 is an example of how our lives are upended with a threat that can be deadly. The challenge for leaders is in moving forward, with poise and calmness, during this pandemic and beyond so that our “new normal” is productive rather than just disruptive.
The key to being rational when everything seems irrational is in having specific methods to use, naming your pain-point, and reminding yourself about your actual circle of control. Take the following 3-minute challenge to realize how that works for you.
We all need tools that allow us to take the necessary steps to remain in control. It’s critical that leaders respond to situations effectively, regardless of the circumstance. There are three important steps that all of us can take to remain strong and thrive in the most difficult scenarios, now and in the future.
Identify 2 specific methods that work for you to help regain your center and experience a sense of calmness and balance. Personally, we are fans of Box Breathing.
Provide (for yourself) a description of exactly what is bothering or frightening you in any given moment of time or in general as you read this post. Put a name on that specific emotion or fear. Naming the emotion allows you to bring it forward.
Remind yourself about true control. The only thing that we can ever really control in life is our own efforts, attitudes, and behaviors. The reminder can serve as the center of your breathing or other technique from #1.
Tools I Use to Regain Peace of Mind
Common Issue(s) that Frighten or Cause Alarm
What I Am In Control of Each Day
Box Breathing
Becoming Ill and Unable to Serve My Family
Creating a Healthy and Nutritious Diet for Strength of Body and Mind
Pro Tip: Take it slow and be patient. If you are new to deep breathing techniques, don’t rush the process. Reactions may range from feeling dizzy to forgetting what number you’re on in the box. Don’t worry about that. Accept the truth that everything of value takes time and lean into the process of learning to master your method.
Reach out and share your story with us. We love to hear from our audience.
Stay tuned for more challenges, reflection questions, leadership models, podcasts, and more by following dereka206.sg-host.com. It’s our job to curate, synthesize, and communicate so that you can lead better and grow faster. In a world plagued by nothing but noise, we help you by getting to simple.
TheSchoolHouse302 is about getting to simple by maximizing effective research-based strategies that empower individuals to lead better and grow faster.
Uncertainty creates doubt, doubt creates fear, fear creates panic, and panic results in chaos. The thing about this sequence of emotions is that it can be prevented. The first crucial step to preventing chaos is in recognizing when uncertainty has begun. When you are able to see your emotions for what they are, you are better equipped to shift your focus on the future by harnessing optimism and clarity.
Too often, individuals and organizations normalize chaos, and in times of uncertainty it can happen faster than ever, taking hold quicker than we can even react. All it takes is a dash of doubt, and you can be on a chaotic rollercoaster of events. The difference for great leaders is that their poise prevails over panic, their calmness confronts chaos, and their fortitude fights fear.
Leaders who exhibit mental-strength-muscles focus on and visualize a brighter future for themselves and the people who they serve. Just think of a time when you anticipated something terrific, and it happened that way. This future-forward process for visualization is no different. When we take time to see our best selves by looking in the mirror for what we want to see, we actually then work to be that person throughout the day. Positivitivity is an intentional act and an ongoing decision. Positive leaders bring out the positivity in others through mental strength and the calm that comes with clarity of purpose.
The 3-Minute Challenge
The power of visualization cannot be underestimated. In The Rise, Sarah Lewis describes how superior archers transition to shooting less frequently, combined with other practices, like meditation, they begin to visualize more often. Seeing the arrow hit the target in their mind trains them to do so more accurately in practice. Taking time to clearly see our future, ourselves in it, and even how an event should unfold is an effective way to focus and improve our performance. This means that we must take time each day to visualize a better tomorrow, an improved outcome, and a better self. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Pick any area of your life and with clear detail write it out. Answer these three quick questions to start your visualization:
What is one area of your life that you want to improve?
How would it feel if you were mentally fit enough to be better in that area on a regular basis?
What do your behaviors look like–visualize them in action–if that area is at its best?
Pro Tip: Visualization takes practice. Try not to get frustrated with yourself when you lose concentration or when your visualization is fuzzy. One way to practice is to think of a great memory and hold onto to that time and feeling in your mind. Spend a few minutes with the past to project the future. Maybe it’s a time when you won an award or when you took your kids to Disney and they met Mickey Mouse. Regardless of the event, the key is to home in on a specific moment–remembering the scene, the emotion, and the experience. This process will help you to understand more about what you want to feel and do as a focus for the future. Remembering the specifics of a quality emotional experience allows us to recreate them again more easily.
Reach out and share your story with us.
Stay tuned for more challenges, reflection questions, leadership models, podcasts, and more by following dereka206.sg-host.com. It’s our job to curate, synthesize, and communicate so that you can lead better and grow faster. In a world plagued by nothing but noise, we help you by getting to simple.
TheSchoolHouse302 is about getting to simple by maximizing effective research-based strategies that empower individuals to lead better and grow faster.
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