One word comes to mind when we think about mental strength: resilience. The immediate question, though, is how do we develop this incredible quality? The ability to bounce back, get up when you’re down, or pivot to something new during the most challenging times is a critical skill for leaders.
Quite frankly it’s not just a skill, it’s a mindset. The belief that our purpose is greater than our issues, and that the only way to persevere is to stay focused, is what allows us to make a truly meaningful impact. This doesn’t mean that we ignore reality, but rather embrace the words and wisdom of J.K. Rowling: “rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life.”
Developing our mental strength requires focus. This means that we must always focus on our current situation, focus on our future, and focus specifically on how to become stronger mentally between now and then–for the sake of now and then.
Single out one thing in your personal or professional life that will ground you to move forward regardless of the circumstance. This can be a loved one, your faith, or your belief in humanity. This is the basis for your need for mental strength.
Identify something that typically detracts you from staying focused, derailing your attention despite your best efforts. This might be social media or something else that keeps you from remaining diligent. This is the thing that keeps you from being stronger.
Pick something that you should do every day to build your resilience and focus on what matters. For example, exercise matters. Whether it is for physical or mental fitness, there are things we must do routinely to develop our mental strength. This is the strategy you’ll use to be more focused and mentally strong.
Pro Tip: Find the learning opportunity in every situation. Everything we encounter in life presents us with an opportunity to learn. We’ve often heard the need to “find the good in every situation,” but if we are being real, we have to admit that there are situations where “good” just isn’t available, but learning always is. This quote by Canadien Poet, Shane Koyczan, sums it up: “if your heart is broken, make art with the pieces.” When we focus on learning, we grow stronger for ourselves and others.
Reach out and share your story with us.
Stay tuned for more challenges, reflection questions, leadership models, podcasts, and more by following dereka206.sg-host.com. It’s our job to curate, synthesize, and communicate so that you can lead better and grow faster. In a world plagued by nothing but noise, we help you by getting to simple.
TheSchoolHouse302 is about getting to simple by maximizing effective research-based strategies that empower individuals to lead better and grow faster.
For the second time ever, we’re posting a written #readthisseries. We’re practicing social distancing so we didn’t get together to film. It’s a serious time for all of us, and we pray for our nation and everyone around the globe. As we follow and abide by recommended health practices, it’s an opportune time to read. Below you will discover our book recommendations on the topic of mental strength–something we’re covering all month long. It’s moments like this, when we are facing a true emergency, that we need to be at our best.
Our first recommendation is Working With Difficult People by Amy Cooper Hakim. This book is perfect. Considering that much of our work at a distance these days requires us to connect with one another in new ways, but it’s tough. This book provides great strategies for handling people “without losing your mind.” You can buy it here.
Our second recommendation is an incredible book by the great Dale Carnegie. How to Stop WorryingandStartLiving is a game changer. Carnegie has left us with riches in the form of words. What we love about this book is that it tackles the complex topic of worry. Read this book to gain perspective and to learn to live in “day tight compartments.”
Our final recommendation is Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. This book is our Mac-Daddy. Dr. Seligman is the father of positive psychology, and we are big fans of his work. What we think you will love most about this book is the techniques he provides for changing your own mind–an absolute must read for leaders!
A Reader’s Tip: If you find it hard to build time into your busy day, especially if you’re working from home with new demands, schedule it. Growing as a leader is intentional. To do so, you need to work at it. Reading is just one strategy, but like anything else worth doing, it takes time. If you’re not finding the time to read, be purposeful with fitting it into your day by placing a hold on your calendar.
If you’re at home because of social distancing, use some of this time to read. Let us know what you think of these three books or just give us a shout about what you’re reading to learn to lead better and grow faster.
Last thing, the first person to contact us via Twitter, using #readthisseries, will receive a copy of Passionate Leadership. All you have to do is tweet, “I am a passionate leader” and we’ll send you a copy. Joe & T.J.
Feelings are invulnerable to rational thought. ~ Stephen King
“The sky is falling.” We would love to think that irrational thinking, fear, and panic, are reserved for only the young or immature, as in the case of the timid and frightened Chicken Little. Yet, we know better. On some scale, large or small, we’ve all fallen victim to irrational thinking. The Chicken Little fable, passed on through the centuries, is intended to guide us as a reminder that bravery and courage are needed during tough times. Whether through the worries of everyday life or the horrors of war, we need stability. The ability to remain rational in the face of challenging times requires mental strength.
Mentally strong individuals see situations for what they really are so that they can respond appropriately. Chicken Little’s fears were not real. Yes, an acorn fell from the sky, but Chicken Little’s panic prevented the chick from knowing what really occurred. In our own lives, we do experience situations that are real and very scary. COVID-19 is an example of how our lives are upended with a threat that can be deadly. The challenge for leaders is in moving forward, with poise and calmness, during this pandemic and beyond so that our “new normal” is productive rather than just disruptive.
The key to being rational when everything seems irrational is in having specific methods to use, naming your pain-point, and reminding yourself about your actual circle of control. Take the following 3-minute challenge to realize how that works for you.
We all need tools that allow us to take the necessary steps to remain in control. It’s critical that leaders respond to situations effectively, regardless of the circumstance. There are three important steps that all of us can take to remain strong and thrive in the most difficult scenarios, now and in the future.
Identify 2 specific methods that work for you to help regain your center and experience a sense of calmness and balance. Personally, we are fans of Box Breathing.
Provide (for yourself) a description of exactly what is bothering or frightening you in any given moment of time or in general as you read this post. Put a name on that specific emotion or fear. Naming the emotion allows you to bring it forward.
Remind yourself about true control. The only thing that we can ever really control in life is our own efforts, attitudes, and behaviors. The reminder can serve as the center of your breathing or other technique from #1.
Tools I Use to Regain Peace of Mind
Common Issue(s) that Frighten or Cause Alarm
What I Am In Control of Each Day
Box Breathing
Becoming Ill and Unable to Serve My Family
Creating a Healthy and Nutritious Diet for Strength of Body and Mind
Pro Tip: Take it slow and be patient. If you are new to deep breathing techniques, don’t rush the process. Reactions may range from feeling dizzy to forgetting what number you’re on in the box. Don’t worry about that. Accept the truth that everything of value takes time and lean into the process of learning to master your method.
Reach out and share your story with us. We love to hear from our audience.
Stay tuned for more challenges, reflection questions, leadership models, podcasts, and more by following dereka206.sg-host.com. It’s our job to curate, synthesize, and communicate so that you can lead better and grow faster. In a world plagued by nothing but noise, we help you by getting to simple.
TheSchoolHouse302 is about getting to simple by maximizing effective research-based strategies that empower individuals to lead better and grow faster.
Uncertainty creates doubt, doubt creates fear, fear creates panic, and panic results in chaos. The thing about this sequence of emotions is that it can be prevented. The first crucial step to preventing chaos is in recognizing when uncertainty has begun. When you are able to see your emotions for what they are, you are better equipped to shift your focus on the future by harnessing optimism and clarity.
Too often, individuals and organizations normalize chaos, and in times of uncertainty it can happen faster than ever, taking hold quicker than we can even react. All it takes is a dash of doubt, and you can be on a chaotic rollercoaster of events. The difference for great leaders is that their poise prevails over panic, their calmness confronts chaos, and their fortitude fights fear.
Leaders who exhibit mental-strength-muscles focus on and visualize a brighter future for themselves and the people who they serve. Just think of a time when you anticipated something terrific, and it happened that way. This future-forward process for visualization is no different. When we take time to see our best selves by looking in the mirror for what we want to see, we actually then work to be that person throughout the day. Positivitivity is an intentional act and an ongoing decision. Positive leaders bring out the positivity in others through mental strength and the calm that comes with clarity of purpose.
The 3-Minute Challenge
The power of visualization cannot be underestimated. In The Rise, Sarah Lewis describes how superior archers transition to shooting less frequently, combined with other practices, like meditation, they begin to visualize more often. Seeing the arrow hit the target in their mind trains them to do so more accurately in practice. Taking time to clearly see our future, ourselves in it, and even how an event should unfold is an effective way to focus and improve our performance. This means that we must take time each day to visualize a better tomorrow, an improved outcome, and a better self. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Pick any area of your life and with clear detail write it out. Answer these three quick questions to start your visualization:
What is one area of your life that you want to improve?
How would it feel if you were mentally fit enough to be better in that area on a regular basis?
What do your behaviors look like–visualize them in action–if that area is at its best?
Pro Tip: Visualization takes practice. Try not to get frustrated with yourself when you lose concentration or when your visualization is fuzzy. One way to practice is to think of a great memory and hold onto to that time and feeling in your mind. Spend a few minutes with the past to project the future. Maybe it’s a time when you won an award or when you took your kids to Disney and they met Mickey Mouse. Regardless of the event, the key is to home in on a specific moment–remembering the scene, the emotion, and the experience. This process will help you to understand more about what you want to feel and do as a focus for the future. Remembering the specifics of a quality emotional experience allows us to recreate them again more easily.
Reach out and share your story with us.
Stay tuned for more challenges, reflection questions, leadership models, podcasts, and more by following dereka206.sg-host.com. It’s our job to curate, synthesize, and communicate so that you can lead better and grow faster. In a world plagued by nothing but noise, we help you by getting to simple.
TheSchoolHouse302 is about getting to simple by maximizing effective research-based strategies that empower individuals to lead better and grow faster.
“I tried to do so many things to fit in. But when you look in the mirror, that’s the one person you can’t lie to.” – David Goggins
April 13, 2013 at 2:49PM, two bombs exploded, killing three people and injuring hundreds of others. The Boston Marathon, the quintessential 26.2 mile race, an event that symbolizes patriotism and honor, was attacked by two assailants. Simply put, they sought to terrorize and destroy. Soon after the horrific bombing, the message Boston Strong was plastered everywhere. It quickly became a source of strength for many. This single symbol of solidarity gave people the mental strength to push forward. In times of need, it isn’t the physical aspects of ourselves and others that we need to be tough but rather the mental toughness that allows us to endure.
In all facets of life–sports, work, friendships, heroes–we tend to admire people who possess superior physical strength. Marvel characters like Thor and Wonder Woman impress us with their size and power, but the reality is that mental strength is much more important in our day-to-day lives. As we think about the toughest times in history, the individuals who emerge demonstrated true grit and mental vigor. Whether we look to Mother Theresa or Winston Churchill, the greatest leaders throughout history are the ones who maintained mental strength over physical prowess. Granted, physical health is important, it certainly sells at the box office, and most of work for a toner physique, but our accustomed manner in which we go looking for strength by way of seeing muscles is deceiving.
Mental muscles aren’t available for the eye. Mental strength is all about training the mind, putting in the psychological reps, so that we can find the courage to continue in even the greatest of hardships and difficult scenarios. It’s what leaders lean on when everyone else seems to be falling apart or coming unraveled.
If you’re reading this–especially now–it’s because you want to lead better and grow faster. Embrace the formula below to flex your mental-strength-muscles.
The Ability to Stay Positive
Staying positive during a crisis, or even through daily trials, is tough. Our emotions can easily be hijacked by worry and fear. These feelings grow as uncertainty about the future looms. One powerful way to stay positive is to imagine or visualize your best self. We know that the seasons of life will pass, looking optimistically towards the future is a proven way to remain hopeful and anticipate a better day.
Fighting Against the Alternative
So often it seems that we are simply “wired” to be pessimistic. Negative feelings and worst case scenarios come naturally. Our human nature is one of protection, and in many situations this benefits us. The hurdle we face is how to use the information we receive to put us in a position to protect ourselves and others rather than consuming our thoughts and paralyzing our actions.
The Capacity to be Rational
Mentally strong individuals possess similar qualities that help them wade through some of the most trying and difficult circumstances. They learn to give up or let go of defeating behaviors and attitudes that aren’t productive.They remove “the bad habits” associated with brooding, worry, and doubt by thinking rationally about the reality of the moment. The key, says expert Dr. Amy Cooper Hakim, is to remove emotions, especially negative emotions.
Fighting Against the Alternative
Being rational, essentially taking out the emotion, is no easy feat. Admittedly, sometimes it feels good to wallow and embrace the darkness. Dare we say that it even may provide some degree of comfort, since the pain is very real. This approach, though, in the long run, doesn’t provide the relief and comfort we naturally seek. We need to discipline ourselves to take the necessary steps to remain in control of how we respond to situations regardless of the circumstance.
The Commitment to Remain Focused
Mental toughness requires commitment and resilience. This may seem counterintuitive. One would think that in order to stay focused and committed you need mental toughness, but it’s the other way around. You need to focus on mental strength to actually have it when you need it. That’s the unique quality of mentally strong leaders; they practice being strong so that they can retrieve their highest levels when called upon. This requires nothing less than a conscientious and deliberate effort.
Fighting Against the Alternative
Losing sight of our goals and long term plans can easily occur when the daily grind seems insurmountable. We take our eyes off of the prize and the little things consume our thoughts and then dictate our behaviors. As Stephen Covey clearly articulated, we need to fight against what seems urgent to focus on the important stuff. If we don’t stay focused on the big picture, we never have the reserves needed to see a brighter future.
Great leaders are always fighting for their ability to stay positive, be rational, and remain focused. And, they know that the best way to do that is to simply avoid the alternative, which is our natural tendency. What we know is that leadership is paradoxical in that we often have to do the opposite of what our intuition tells us.
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“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” ~ Bob Marley
These are incredibly challenging times, filled with uncertainty. As COVID-19 continues to spread, the world continues to respond. We know that you’re responding too, in whatever unique circumstances are forming around you. Our prayers and thoughts are with everyone during this pandemic.
This month, we’re focused on self-improvement, and the coronavirus almost makes it impossible to ignore what it means for all of us to get better. As we learn and grow, we build trust. Trust makes our communities stronger. The definition of leadership is influence. The challenge of leadership is conflict. The result of leadership is change. We know that you’re leading through conflict toward a time that will be different than what we used to know as our reality.
As you lead forward, we thought it would be beneficial to point to some key resources for being our best selves during the outbreak. While many of us are following the advice of the CDC, and other agencies, who suggest social distancing as a mitigation strategy for the spreading of the virus, we know that leaders are taking action as best they can with whatever information they have. Leading better and growing faster is always our mantra, especially in times like this, and being informed is the number one way we lead and grow. This post is not just more information about COVID-19, but rather the critical direction that we all need for how to bring some normalcy and peace into our lives, how to continue to learn and develop as leaders, and how we can be better tomorrow than we are today.
Strategies For Remaining Calm
Martin Seligman, commonly known as the founder of positive psychology, provides key strategies that we can use when faced with uncertainty. His advice is simple and practical.
Check it out here in Penn Today. Great leaders will use these strategies and help others to do the same.
Exercising Without Going to the Gym
With social gatherings being limited, people are unable to go to some of their favorite locations. This includes the gym. Maintaining a solid health regimen is critical during this time for both mental and physical health benefits. Self-improvement always includes the body and the mind.
Check out this article for no equipment indoor exercises.
Staying fit is important for leading well. In fact, wellness, period, is synonymous with leadership.
Unplugging While You’re Plugged-In
We know that most of our audience is just like we are, which means you’ve been burning the candle at both ends. You’re probably inundated with texts, emails, and online meetings. Social distancing has put everything and everyone is a tech-based cloud (pun intended). That said, we need a healthy relationship with our technology, using it for the betterment of ourselves and others rather than its destructive capabilities.
Check out this piece on realistic guidance for getting unplugged.
Connecting with Your Loved Ones
It may seem obvious but when we’re all stuck inside we have an opportunity to connect with loved ones, especially our household family. But then we don’t. We squander the time away, keeping busy but not connecting. We have an opportunity to strengthen relationships, and great leaders always make that a priority (both with family and friends).
This article has a ton of great advice about staying social in times like this.
Working from Home
Companies everywhere, along with school systems around the globe, are moving to a work-from-home policy. While it’s the smart choice when possible, not everyone knows how to transition successfully to working at home. If you’ve done it for any period of time in the past, you know how hard it can be. But many industries, including education, are just starting to explore how to make the shift.
We like this article, which covers a number of best practices for working from home.
Finally, if you’re looking for what we think is the best resource regarding COVID-19, visit here.
We would love to hear from you regarding what you’re doing differently to self-improve while you keep your distance from others. Lead better, grow faster, stay safe.
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7 Mindshifts for School Leaders: Finding New Ways to Think About Old Problems. 
